Further Resources

You don't become good under pressure by pretending that pressure isn't there. That harsh reality forms the nucleus of how businesses, and people, can really handle emotions under pressure. Too much of the advice that's flying around is "calm down," or "take a breath," as if your emotions are optional. It isn't. Emotions are information, inconsistent, actionable and unavoidable. The key is to read the signal and choose the response.

Why it matters now

The workplace pace and complexity have soared. Sydney CBD teams, Melbourne agencies, Brisbane hospitals, the context is different but the pressure isn't. Employers speak of agility and resilience, but many still operate with the expectation that people will keep performing as if stress were just a personal, private concern. That's naive. One in five Australians will experience a mental illness at some point in any one year, enough to prove that emotional regulation isn't a soft skills boutique topic; it's an issue of Business continuity (Beyond Blue, 2023). If you don't attend to it, productivity, retention and decision making are all the worse for it.

Let's face it: the next opinion might rub some readers the wrong way, but here goes. Visible stress is sometimes useful. It is urgent, can mobilise resources and, if handled properly, expresses authenticity. Another divisive perspective: Companies should be measuring emotional resilience as part of the general KPIs. Sure, you'll encounter pushback on professionalism and privacy. But if you can't measure resilience, it won't get a priority.

Know what's happening, really

You can't just turn pressure into nothing

Pressure is not a switch you can flip on or off. It's a cascade: perception brings emotion, which brings physiology, and it shapes thought and behaviour. Adrenaline and cortisol sharpen a few responses and dull others. So best not to "just chill" in those precarious moments of permanent stand, which is why the recommendation is virtually never useful at the time.

You should be able to map the pattern, not memorise it. Ask yourself: what makes me escalate? When do I go from problem solving to blaming? Who are the colleagues who help de escalate stress, and which ones amplify it? Self awareness is the foundation. Not the thought bubble variety, but a practical list: your hotspots, the words you go to when you are under stress from which form follows. Many leaders only become aware of triggers after a meltdown has already occurred. Construct the radar before it rains.

'I am not alone in this'

Short term tools: Be tactical, not theatrical

When the pressure is on, tactics must be quick and dirty. These are practical, evidence based choices you can begin making right away.

Grounding and breathing. Longer, diaphragmatic breaths slow down heart rate and jolt us out of the "think fast, react worse" cycle. It's science, and it works. But don't do that breathing half heartedly, cartoon yogi style 3 part breath (inhale pause exhale) it for a full minute or longer and then reassess. This my friends is cognitive reframing in action.
Swap out catastrophic internal monologues for strategic ones: "What's the worst realistic outcome?" "A colleague won't agree this is a catastrophe, will he?" Reframing is not denying; it's a redirection of thought from disaster to contingency.
Micro exercise. Ten minutes of brisk walking or other simple dynamic movement decreases cortisol and increases clarity. Under a desk or on an airplane, little movements count. Endorphins are an underutilised decision tool.
Create rituals. Have a small routine (a short laugh, then stretching your arms above your head) and repeat before big meetings or presentations. It communicates to your brain that the environment has been controlled, and rituals reduce uncertainty.

Mindfulness isn't woo, it's workplace insurance

Mindfulness gets ridiculed in some quarters, but used right, it's pragmatic. Not the fuzzy light be present kind, but micro mindfulness: a 60 second sensory check when overwhelmed. Name three things you can see, two that you can hear and one that you can touch. It re anchors attention in the present moment, where useful decisions are made.

For teams, brief group grounding exercises before high stakes calls can be helpful. It doesn't have to be mushy. More aligning of distributed teams is accomplished with a simple breathing set, a five word check in, or a one minute pause than with another round of status updates.

Develop resilience long term, and measure it

Short term tactics get you out of a jam. Resilience building training works out the muscles so you need those tactics less. Resilience isn't stoicism. It's a collection of patterns and frameworks:

Cognitive restructuring: get in the habit of identifying automatic negative thoughts, testing them against reality, and replacing them with actionable alternatives. That cuts down on rumination and saves cognitive bandwidth.
Social capital: Good relationships at work are the single best buffer against stress. Not the office small talk type, true psychological safety where people can say "I'm stuck" without feeling like their career is in jeopardy.
Physical well being: sleep, nutrition and movement are not luxuries. They are core resilience infrastructure. You'd be surprised how many high fliers try to outwork lack of sleep and wonder why decision quality drops.
Scenario rehearsal: Leaders and teams should run stress drills. Not just IT disaster recovery, but interpersonal pressure drills, how to deliver critical feedback when the quarter is closing, how to renegotiate a deadline without burning a bridge.

Here's a provocative admission: Resilience should be a business metric. Measure absenteeism, presenteeism, turnover reasons that are stress related and simple self reported resilience scores. Then act on the data. If you don't, then you are already paying for the problem in lost productivity and unnecessary attrition.

Contextual application

Everything has its place and time:

Presentations/Public speaking: Breathe, visualise before you get in the zone. Zero in on one friendly face in the room; it resets perceived threat to attachment.
Negotiations: have a time out tool. If the conversation escalates, stop, make a summary argument and reset. It is better to lose face for a second than to lose an agreement due to reactive behaviour.
In emergency settings (healthcare, emergency services) rehearsed scripts, strong team debriefs and peer support should be institutional. People do better when there are systems available to help with emotional recovery.
School: for students, structure and prioritisation are your allies. This can overwhelm when breaking down tasks into measurable steps. Being able to rely on a study group and mentorship alleviate that isolation.

Handling feelings in relationships, Theory light, practice heavy

At home, the stakes are different but the tools are pretty much the same. Pause before reacting. Use "I" statements. Use active listening: Summarise your spouse's idea before offering yours. It's not soft niceties but mechanisms that reduce defensive arousal and allow for repair.

One short habit that can help: establish a "cool down" rule about fighting. Take a 20 minute break at a first blip of rising voices. During that interlude, each writes one sentence of what they are hoping for the outcome. It pivots the focus from winning to solving.

Mistakes I often see, and how to avoid making them

Over optimising productivity hacks at the expense of feeling. You can have the best process in the world, but if people are emotionally spent, it doesn't matter.

Misclassifying toughness as emotional mastery. Being calm isn't suppression. It's regulation. Stifling emotions fosters cynicism and disconnection.
One size fits all training. One size fits all seminars tick boxes rather than transform behaviour. Practice, feedback and reinforcement is part of successful development. Which is why, in programs we design, there's heavy emphasis on role play, manager coaching and measurable follow up.

An aside about organisational responsibility

Emotional management is often viewed as a personal moral weakness. It's not. The Organisation establishes the limits and standards for what can get done. Emotional climate is a product of workloads, culture, leader behaviour and system design. "If you have leaders that publicly display poor emotion regulation and only reward output, that's what your folks are going to do."

We have clients all over Australia who get that. An investment in the capability of managers, the basic skills to provide feedback that's psychologically safe, notice early signs of stress are invaluable and pay back very quickly in terms of retention and performance. In truth, the market leaders who get it are often more human in public than their critics assume; it's not a sign of weakness, it's strategy.

A few practical things you can try this week

Trigger map: Set aside 30 minutes to make a map of your stress triggers, both at work and at home. List an immediate tactic and system change for each one of them that will minimise the recursiveness.
The three question check: Before a difficult conversation, ask yourself: (1) What do I want from this? (2) What do they want? (3) What is a reasonable compromise? These questions shift your brain to results, not mood.
Team pre mortem: Before a big presentation, do a 15 minute team pre mortem. Ask, "What could we get emotionally derailed by?" It exposes social risk and results in mitigations.

Final thought, unfinished, because life

As much as you wish you could never hear those words again. Emotional regulation under pressure is not a skill you "complete". It's a work in progress, messy, imperfect, pragmatic. There will be days that you fall. There will be days you amaze yourself. The point isn't perfect poise; it's a calmer head, better choices and stronger relationships when the pressure is on.

We don't fix that with one off workshops or a "resilience" poster in the break room. It takes practice, a commitment to leadership and honest measurement. Do the work, stay simple and remember that emotion is information, not your enemy.

Sources & Notes

Beyond Blue (2023). Statistic: "1 in 5 Australians will experience a mental illness in any given year." Beyond Blue, national mental health and research.